Room 102

I remember the midwife when I was in labour
An ugly old bitch with skin like crepe paper
"And where is daddy?" she scornfully asks
"With his new girlfriend, smoking grass"
Of course, I don't say this out loud
Telling myself it's because I'm too proud
But then I have to gently remind her
She's got her hand in my vagina
"You're having his baby, why did you go?"
"Two black eyes and a broken nose"
"If that was me I'd have used protection"
"That's cos your face is your contraception."

Anna Russell