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Author: Anna Russell / Labels: ,

Don't tell me that I'm beautiful
Or even merely cute
Don't fix my wonky clothes rail
Or look fantastic in a suit.

Stay miles away from the florists -
I'm warning you, I'll check
And NEVER come up behind me
To gently kiss my neck.

Please refrain from being nice to my mother
Or getting on well with my mates
Don't remember my favourite colour
Or hold open the door on our dates.

I must insist you don't read much
Or express any type of passion
And that your jokes are never funny,
Your clothes years out of fashion.

These rules, they must be followed
Please heed what I say.
Do not break a single one
Unless you plan to stay.

Anna Russell