On Reading A Critic's Suggestion That Burns Should Be Anglicised Instead Of Written In "Slang"

Author: Anna Russell / Labels: ,

Awa' an bile yer heid
Ye lanky streak o' pish
Yer maw's a haw bag
Yer da's a ba' sac
An' see you -
Yer claimt.

A translation for those of you not blessed with Scots genes (and thus an innate ability to understand violent insults in all their forms) by my fellow countryman Mr Danny Reynolds -

Oh wouldst that thou
Couldst take thy head
And boil it in a saucepan, red
Thou lean and lank, I must define
Compare thee to a pig’s urine
Thy mater, we detesticle
Thy pater, the skin round a testicle
If thou comest here now
The crowd will amass
Whilst I shall kick
Thy scrawny ass.

Danny Reynolds

Anna Russell


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