The Self-Proclaimed Ordinary Man Who Decided To Sell His Soul

Author: Anna Russell / Labels: , , ,

A self proclaimed -
(well, read the title, you'll get the idea)
He was interested to see
What price he'd get
He was a wee bit bored.

He stepped out of his soul
And folded it neatly in his back pocket

He asked God first
(best stick with the good guys, he figured)
But God wasn't buying

'My child, this is not really my forte.
What does your soul have to offer me? '

'I dunno.
I'm just an Ordinary Man.'

'Well, I didn't make you that way.'

He went to Hell
Where Lucifer greeted him,
Pitchfork in hand.

'Hey Luce,
What will you give me for my soul? '

'YOUR soul? Ha!
What use is that to me?

I have Henry VIII looking sad and forlorn
(all those wives and not once did he mourn)
There's Rodrigo Borgia fizzing with malice
Feeding Savonarola out of his chalice
Hitler's got his own eternal crooner
None other than Sammy Davis Junior
And the waiting list is pretty long
(though boybands move higher with every song)
I'm waiting for Death to give OJ a shout
Though sadly, on Castro, the jury's still out
(Che got to go Up cos of the angels he pleases
With his somewhat uncanny likeness to Jesus)

So, with all that seen and all that said
What price should I put on your little head? '

'I dunno.
I'm just an Ordinary Man.'

'Well, I didn't make you that way.'


'Oops, need to put on my hooves for the tour Virgil's giving
You know how it is - gotta make a living.
(And I do so hope you liked the rhyme
Took lessons from Homer - he's still serving his time.')

So the self proclaimed Ordinary Man went back to earth,
Soul in pocket
And a little bit glum.

And for the whole time
He had wandered dominions
Without his soul
He hadn't even noticed
It was gone.

Anna Russell


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